So, before I start, I did get up and workout this morning. It was more like 5:20, but hey, I did it.

Now, for what I really wanted to talk about. I know I’ve mentioned writing a business plan to you guys already. I’m still not ready to talk about the specific details of the business I am currently planning yet (don’t you worry your pretty little heads – when I’m ready, I’ll be shouting it from rooftops and shamelessly promoting it). Some of you who know me already know what I’m doing and most of you have been supremely supportive and I can’t even tell you how much that means to me.

But, as always, I have managed to get into my own head about all of this and freak myself out. When I first came up with the idea, I was completely obsessed with it. It’s all I thought about, read about, and sometimes talked about. I started writing the business plan and felt awesome about it. But then something happened in my brain and all of the what-ifs started popping up and scaring the crap out of me. I started thinking that I was romanticizing the entire idea in my head and that it was going to be way more work than I was admitting to myself. I nearly ditched the idea all together.

I talked to JW about it and he said that if my heart wasn’t really in it then he wouldn’t try to stop me from letting it go. But he added that he’d hate to see me throw away a really good idea just because I got cold feet over what-ifs. I had a lot of soul-searching and thinking to do. I have been making some sweeping changes to my life lately and gotten serious about some goals. And this is one of them. I decided I need to move forward. My little brother told me he was happy that I’m not letting it go because he tends to change his mind a lot (we’re a lot alike) and it makes him glad to see me not giving up. My BFF told me not to quit too.

I am still scared about a lot of things. I’m scared of the debt that will be associated with this venture (although startup costs for this particular business aren’t as overwhelming as some) and I’m scared of all of the unknowns. I feel like I want someone to hold my hand and tell me what do do next. I’m scared of actually acquiring the financing for it (because if I actually do all the work and start planning for it only to get told no, I’ll be heart-broken). There is a lot I be scared about.

But there is also a lot to be over-the-moon excited for. All of the what-ifs that have been popping into my head are scary. What if I can’t get financed? What if business is slow? What if I fail? But there are awesome what-ifs too. What if this is my dream job? What if I am a run-away success? What if this could be the most rewarding experience ever?

Here’s the thing: I really believe that we can make this a success. I am under no delusions that it won’t be hard work. I’m even anticipating it to be harder than I am aware of at this point. But I also think that if I am able to make it a success, it will be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. And how can I turn down a chance like that? And really, how many things that are really worth doing aren’t just a little scary?

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